Friday 28 November 2014

Christmas is coming.........

The good news is that the back is greatly improved and no doubt heading in the right direction. The bad news is now the right knee has gone crock and is mighty bloody painful so back on the painkillers and foul language. I am seriously thinking of becoming a Rastafarian cos my current deity aint got no sense of humous.

That apart we're trying to get festive; a little early I know but it's the Cowroast Lock Moorers Christmas Gathering on 6th December which is my first (and probably last) social event of Advent.


The numbers are a tad down on last year but that's not a bad thing as the venue got a bit crowded over the last two years so perhaps it will be a bit more comfortable this time.

Our charity this year (assuming we make a profit) is DENS, the Dacorum Emergency Night Shelter
http://www.dens.org.uk/index
so, in addition to what we raise on the night, punters have been asked to bring some tinned or dried fruit for their Foodbank Appeal. If you hear my car rattling and making more noise than usual you'll know the collection was a success. And nothing succeeds like a budgie with no teeth.

One of the side benefits of the occasion is the distribution of Christmas Cards without having to pay the immorally privatised Post Office 55p second class postage and the duff knee has forced me to sit down and write same. In truth I love sending and receiving cards though on occasions it is tinged with sadness as old friends come off the list. What I don't understand is why the Post Office don't treat Christmas as an opportunity to get people back in the habit by lowering the cost for sending cards. Just tell people if they dont seal the envelope and post between 1st and 15th then a 20p stamp will do. Instead the tactic seems to be to keep hammering the senders so they don't use the service then say there isn't sufficient usage to warrant the existing number of collections and deliveries. This results in loss of jobs to working people and no doubt maintains the income of the bright boys that bought the Post Office at a snip from the eedjit government. Discuss.Oh and don't get me started on the cunning buggers selling off the East Coast Rail back to Branson and co after we bailed them out last time and it's been run by a government (i.e. US) agency quite successfully since And within 12 months of a General Election. Morals of the whorehouse.....


A change of mood. My new Santa suit arrived today but I'm keeping it under wraps till next week partly because my knee isn't in the mood for trying on trousers and partly because I think it would be unlucky to do so before the start of Advent which starts next Sunday and lasts till Christmas Eve.

Ollie has, as usual, taken the initiative of cajoling the rest of us into doing a list for Santa and I thought, in tune with my new Rasta brothers, I would send Santa a Rap



Christmas Wrap


Yo Santa

Hello dere bro dis am de intention
To tell you kids bout de man on de pension
His name is Mikal and he's bald and sturdy
But he do like Christmas
bout as much as his birday

He wants for nuttink
From you moi luvver
cos yous always kind
an' dont dis dis bruvver.

Whooo! Whooo! (or some similar Neanderthal utterance)

But if yous happy to club together
But don't buy nuffin on de never never
den what I needs is writ hereunda
to fill my heart with awe and wunda

My list is short but if yous can afford
 I need a fing  for my car dashboard
De fing is right to hold my phone
so i don't hit no wall when I's alone


An' I need a saucepan not too big
but what it must be is non-stick
for cooking scrambled eggs after dey broke
cos stickin to de pan aint no yoke


  

Whooo! Whooo!

Now I knows you scoff
When I ask for Brasso 
But it's what I need
For de boat not de car so
A tin of dis liquid will be just right
To shine like my bonce in de old headlight



  


Now it's nearly time to finish my rap
But I appear to have lost my old flat cap
If yous sees a blue one in de cheapo aisle
I'd really like to wear one in the Breton style


  


Dere's ovver stuff too much to spend 
so there I fink my  list must end
But de fing I want most and I's right sincere
Is dat yous have a lovely Christmas an' a great New Year

Whooo! Whooo!

Cheers
Rapper Present

Who said poetry was dead? A bit sick maybe....


Last years Christmas tree has survived life on the mooring ready for transporting to Pam's come Christmas
















Not much to photograph at the moment as the days are mainly grey and damp. The path along the moorings and the towpath generally are fairly muddy and with the addition of dead leaves some places are quagmired.** 
Ooooh I love that word quag, it is so onomatopeoic or rather it sounds as though it should be onomatopeoic.


a confused primula

**Quag-A marshy or boggy place-late 16th century: related to dialect quag 'shake, quiver'; probably symbolic, the qu- suggesting movement (as in quake and quick).


CaRT have started padlocking Cowroast lock overnight "monitoring to establish the cause of recent water losses"
Well all I know is the "water losses" aren't that recent and are a result of those below the lock opening the paddles overnight and since the padlocking started the levels above the lock have been maintained.

The plan is to move Independence down to Marsworth next week for the Boaters' Gathering but that only gives my knee a week to improve or I don't go. Another major complication is the small matter of the mighty Fulham v Watford on the evening of Fri 5th. Do we travel on Friday and hope to catch the game at the Angler's Retreat or move on Saturday and cab back from the Goat in Berko. What a quag!

Ady, Geoff and I with Mike Paine had a planning meeting this week and for a change thought we'd try the Three Horseshoes at Winkwell. I'd not been there for a while but it's an attractive canalside pub with the added interest of a swingbridge. Big mistake. I think we all felt afterwards we should have complained but we were being very English that day which was a shame. Suffice to say for 38 quid we got three beef rolls with cheese and a derisory bit of salad and indeed bugger all beef. I had a turkey(packet/sliced/tasteless) and cheese club sandwich plus we shared a bowl of overcooked chips. Apart from a slight sewage aroma on entering and the fact that the heating didn't appear to be working it was a perfect meal. We won't return and commend The Anchor up the road which represents real value for money. 





Talking of pubs you will recall the grand opening of the Cowroast Inn a couple of weeks ago which then carried on under the old tenant....well, you probably don't but no matter. A friend of mine had the following notice posted through the letter box today-nearly three weeks after the non-event. It doesn't bode well but all the boating fraternity hereabouts wish the new people well and look forward to a cleaner, friendlier, foodier pub with particular attention to gutter language which drove away so much trade from what used to be a good pub.
I hope the new people are in by Christmas.......

I am planning my festive visit to Lancashire to visit my sister and bro-in-law. My plan is to set off on Tues 16th stopping overnight in Bakewell and knocking off all my Christmas shopping there before travelling to Oldham on 17  and staying to 19th Dec. They Live near Tom's daughter, Valerie, husband Martin and family (which makes her my half niece, I think) Anyway that's £1.10 postage saved!

It's all adding up. I'll soon have enough for another lousy sandwich at the Three Horseshoes, Winkwell. Oh I wish I'd complained now. New Year's Resolution-tell restaurants, pubs etc when you think you've had a bad deal.

Right back to writing those cards. Mustn't get quagged down in bad knees, pubs, poetry.......

Oh and we have a party this weekend in deepest Denham so I've 48 hours to perfect my one-legged dance routine... so more anon. Must hop it. Byeee.

2 comments:

Carol said...

MikeW said...

Sorry Carol I deleted your message by mistake. Doh!

I know it's been a while and soooo many of you have asked when will I write another blog. My answer to both of them is here it is. My la...