Saturday, 2nd November



The authentic Arabian appearance is achieved by
holding a piec of ice, wrapped in a serviette, on the area
stung by the wasp

You would be forgiven for thinking this is a picture of a wealthy, influential sheik, potentate of somewhere full of sand and oil visiting the UK with a harem and a string of Bentleys.

It  is, in fact, a man who has been stung by a wasp. He was meant to be sealing his boat chimneys-a job long overdue-and had indeed set about this task with the nearest thing to enthusiasm without actually being enthusiastic and wallop. Clearing leaves from the roof to get at the area in question and bang-right on the bonce, above the right eye and ouch to the power of 28. I've been stung before in various places so I don't go to any of them now-no, I mean on  the arms, the hands the neck and recovered almost immediately but this boyo meant business. It hurt like hell and continued to do so till I retired early in the evening. At one stage I thought of going to the whaspital but that would have been silly. So no boat chimney sealed today. The Blessed Pam ministered unto my wound before she and Joseph went off to Earls Court with Ollie to some ski show. Sounds fun. Here's a picture of them.

No, not this one -they're reindeer,the other one up there

Did it rain here?
No rain dear.
Oh That's good moose
We've a stag do at the hoose
R Burns

Sunday, a bright and breezy day with little traffic on the cut. Although these two came by-from a distance I thought  they were walking on water.

Head now restored to its former beauty and I suspect the sting has prompted some hair growth. Just a whisp. Or is it a whasp?

Monday! and I'm cooking on gas. Two hours of hanging upside down over the central heating boiler and getting covered in diesel smuts and we're away-yippee. Job done and the central heating working like a wasp on heat .A lovely day so turned the boat round to get at the chimney that is leaking like a sieve. Lots of sealant and wait for the next  to see if its worked..

Tuesday AND IT'S GUY FAWKES NIGHT!

So far so good . Plenty of rain but no leaks-marvellous.  A trip to Tesco with Jaq from nb Valerie( http://boatlife.blogspot.co.uk/)  to stock up for fireworks night and try not to get too excited about the forthcoming pyrotechnics.

Picked up  Joseph  and we are soon up to our necks in sparks, bangs, hot dogs,  pop and pizza along with Pat from next door-with Mulled Wine!- and Richard and Ally (Ali,Alli?) with Harvey, Nancy, Dulcie and Bruno. Lots of Ooooooing andAhhhhhhing and more fun than I deserve. They brought a firework that sounded like Saturday night in Baghdad which was stupendous and I flitted about (as best as a man of my stature can flit) lighting rockets and sprays and all sorts of wonders.

Pam and Joseph lit the chimerea which was v welcome

Joseph in his smart new ski jacket tends the fire.

Oh and sparklers! Looks like I got the last one. Hee hee-Don't you just love sparklers.

Wednesday, a dismal, dank, dreary day. A day suited to picking up dead fireworks, leaves,losses................filled up the tank with water and restarted Operation Mooring Tidy but soon got bored with that. I noticed a couple of CaRT (was B Waterways before the world went completely mad) employees leaving the moorings when I arrived. Always a cause of anxiety especially for those of us competing for the Untidiest Mooring in South East England Competition. Whatever it is it wont be good news and will probably cost us money. 

Still raining......perhaps I'll leave the tidying up till tomorrow.

I shall stay in the dry and do some picture framing and play at being a plumber. If I can find the right spanners......I have an air lock in the pipework between the central heating stove and the immersion tank. (That's interesting isn't it.) and every year I solve it but can't remember what I did the previous year. As it involves water and pipes and stuff I have to think very carefully before filling my sporran with ice cold water-or is it hot-can't remember and not undo the wrong bits or bugger the tank. Anyway it's too dark to do anything now so it can wait till the morning.
I know-I'll publish this post on the blog. Until the next time....

Monday 28th.

The worst storm since the last one. We were promised  the total removal of anyone weighing less than 10 stone. the eradication of every tree in South East England and those of us weightier people who did survive would awake somewhere in Cambridgeshire carried there by a wind so strong that that the UK would be rejoined to mainland Europe.  It was a bit wet and windy further south and the odd bit of fencing went walkabout locally but peering through my porthole everything seems to be where it was before. I appreciated the warning though-I was involved in the aftermath of the '87 storm so know what the damage can be like and what precautions can be taken if sufficient warning is given

Most of the trees still seem to be in leaf which is good because Autumn is such a lovely season on Tring Summit and the longer it lasts the better.

I don't seem to be making much progress with my Autumn chores however. I still haven't got the central heating working-mainly because it's such a messy job I want a totally clear day with no other commitments, a complete set of disposable clothing and both knees in some sort of working order. At the time of writing I only have the clothing-all my clothing is disposable-but in truth I just hate doing the bloody job. The mooring still looks a tip as does the inside of the shed but they can wait till the sun comes out. Anyway I've got excuses, as always,as today (Monday) I am giving someone a lift to hospital, tomorrow I have a meeting (over lunch) about my 40th anniversary trip to Norfolk and on Wednesday I am at the dentist. Don't worry I'll find something else for Thursday and Friday to make sure I don't do any of the jobs on my Autumn List which for your information is published here.

The Mooring doesn't look too bad here but believe me-it's a tip.

Central heating-service boiler

Clear shed

clear mooring

fix leaks round two chimneys

clear boatmans and put mattressing in store

paint front well (or badly depending on mood-ho ho)

Fit cratch cover

build bookcase and hang new pictures

organise Christmas Do

                                                                                        stop inventing jobs

One thing I have achieved is the acquisition of a lovely, comfy, leather chair which is the perfect size both for the boat and my ample curtilage

Perhaps I'll sit in it for 10 minutes whilst the fire gets going and have another look at my list.

Tuesday 29th.

A brighter day all round but colder so fire lit and logs, coal etc. ready.

Heard from Jim H who is moving Pacific for John P from Braunston to Watford that he is delayed at Leighton Buzzard by a tree across the cut. CaRT not yet got a conractor on the case but to be fair they are probably busy (the contractors, not CaRT) with more pressing matters as like Barclays they have branches everywhere. Certainly on my drive back from Watford General yesterday on the country route I was surprised at how many trees were down and roads flooded.

Wed 30th

A glorious Autumn morning spoiled only by the prospect of a visit to the dentist down in Harrow. Reports say the tree in Leighton Buzzard has been removed so Jim and Sue should be back sometime today .

Dentist 10/10

Jim and Sue are back but because of the delay caused by trees across the canal in L Buzzard are leaving the boat here for a while.

And now for some really good news!

You remember, of course, that whilst I was returning from Wales I lost my Hat to the wind somewhere between Calcutt and Braunston. I'm sure you do and believe me I have been comforted  not only by your prayers for my loss but the knowledge that so many of you will have driven up that way to see if you can find it. Most kind.

Anyway fear not. Look no further. The hat bearing the title Tug Master was a present from Mac and Carrie on the Griffin from their last trip to Australia, an island off New Zealand and famous for spiders that will bite your bum when you're sat on the loo-very expensive in pet shops, cheaper on the web.

 Here I am wearing it before I went away.

 On Thursday I was summoned to Dodge Mansions and presented with a replacement! All the way from Australia! Organised by Mac and Carrie through Peter Howe and his lady wife,G(loria), who apparently trecked through the Outback, fighting off bum-biting spiders, to various Charity Shops and found another Tug Master Hat. I am ecstatic and exceedingly grateful. I wore it in bed last night which meant I was totally protected against the ghouls of Halloween and had a warm head. Marvellous surprise. Thank you everybody.

 

 And here it is. Don't I look smart!

Until the next time mes amis..............

The change of season

10th October and back from the holiday jaunt I'm suddenly alerted to the fact that the Summer is over and Winter seems to be here already. I am alerted by two things. A sharp northerly gale that is finding every orifice both in the boat and your humble servant plus I have been begged by all my friend to book the Cowroast Boaters' Christmas Do.
So suddenly it's all kindling and logs and coal and draught excluders and nights drawing in which I loathe.
Ah but wait-it's all changed again and now it's so mild I am back in my bikini and wandering through the boat looking for iguana.
Hang on-now it's a s windy as windy can be and extremely wet. But still very mild. Thank God our kindly energy suppliers are only upping the price by 10%ish and we can now see that M Thatcher was right all along to sell off our birthright to a bunch of Johnny Foreigners who lie awake at night worrying about excessive profits. Oh that they would pour their money into that wonderfully insane project that is HS2. Then we could sit on trains keeping warm just for the price of a platform ticket. Nay bother we will survive and the Eton Messers will thrive.

Between now and Christmas is a noteworthy day. Well, it's noteworthy for me. November will be 40 years since  Adrian and I bought the first boat. Barring one year I've owned a boat ever since (and for one year owned two so that makes up the difference)
Ady and I are talking of a small celebration in Norfolk, where we bought Broad Wave II all those years ago possibly attended by others who have been involved in boating over the years. So we have a planning meeting arranged over a curry next Tuesday. Such fun.

It's good to be back on my home mooring after three months away and catch up with everybody. There are jobs aplenty to do as I de-Summerise the boat and get the moorings into some sort of tidiness. Big trip to the tip planned and major sort out of the shed-again..
We made a couple of trips to get rid of stuff and the mooring is almost looking respectable though rather soggy.
My new inner tubes and a tyre have arrived!  On my return I found both my wheelbarrow and my trusty trolley had flat tyres. On inspection the wheelbarrow tyre had perished to the point of useless so ordered replacements all round for 25 quid. That's inflation for you. Ho ho.

My excuse for not having had the major clear out of  mooring and shed has been the absence of my trolley so I have to find another excuse now.Two new fire extinguishers arrived today. Avid readers will recall one of the casualties of the big trip was a fire extinguisher. I have three on board but it always seems more likely to me that I will discover a fire when getting on board and it would be sensible to keep an extinguisher on the mooring hence the two new ones.

The tally of casualties for the trip was:-

1 chimney#

1 cb aerial#

2 flowerpots*

1 fender +

innumerable paper plates *

1 pair of gloves*

(all the above from the roof)

1 hat (from my head) (Br 107 between Napton and Braunston and bearing the title Tug Master. If returned copious draughts will be provided-especially as it was a copious draught that removed it)

1 Fire extinguisher#

1 whisky tumbler +

 

#Now replaced

* Shan't bother

+ Under consideration

 

 Watching the rain today while wondering why water is piddling in round my chimney. It didn't leak before I went away so it must have been bashing all those lock gates between Cowroast and Llangollen has loosened up the seal round the chimney collar. Can't do amything till I get a dry couple of days to re-seal it.

Anyway while I was pondering this I saw a yellow bucket blow off a boat on the other side of the cut. It seemed to discombobulate the swans but try as I might I couldn't fish it out and it was last seens sailing towards Tring. Probably in Birmingham by now.

What did yoiu say Miranda?!

I said "Bucket" Mother

Oh! That's alright then

F***ing thing seems to be following us though dear

Went for a wander today and the sun came out for all of 7 minutes allowing this shot of the shed next to Cowroast Lock-or more importantly the tree behind it.




The Red Lion is booked for the Christmas do on 7th December and the only concern is about space. If there isn't a massive snowfall or an outbreak of flu in the 1st week of December we will outnumber the chairs again.

 

Homeward Bound-from Lapworth to Cowroast

Back to Lapworth with Roy and Ady on Sunday evening (29/9)-sadly Annie not with us yet -maybe later in the week.......

Both boats ok so after unpacking we walked to the Navigation Inn. At first I thought the curse of the foodless pub was still with us as they stopped serving at 7pm, (the pattern for this trip has been one of the pub stopping food about 10 minutes before we ask for some) but our luck was in. The landlord(who is from Huddersfield but nobody's perfect) and Landlady came up trumps with probably the best steak pie I've had in years and we rewarded their kindness by forcing ourselves to drink at least two. possibly three, pints of Timothy Taylor's Landlord. Alright we had four. It was very good steak pie..

To bed. (Perhaps it was five zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Monday morning and we set off in watery sunshine at 9 am and headed south down the Grand Union to Hatton Locks.

21 Locks without Annie so we were pleased to see a couple of CaRT Volunteers but after one lock they decided we were either too stupid or too experienced to warrant their attention and buggered off to help a young couple with a baby on a hire boat. Moral-when working locks- get a baby and look incompetent-I only qualify on one count.

The Hatton flight is double width so we were soon in a rhythm improved considerably by my adeptness at lassooing a stud on Panther's stern whist Roy showed Adrian how to work locks.(Only joking Ady)



Following Roy through Shrewley Tunnel



Waiting at the top of the Hatton flight



All 21 of the buggers



This way Roy

Through Warwick and Leamington Spa and moored for the night at Radford Semele where we walked into the village for dinner at the White Lion, a Chef and Brewer with a rather fine sign

Yes-they served Pride,we ate from the Mane menu (what elsa)and my steak was roar. Ho Ho Ho

It was good-and a gentle stroll afterwards to aid digestion. Another early night

Tuesday was an 8 a m start-a misty morning but pleasant enough as we headed for Braunston through Radford, Bascote, Stockton and Calcutt locks-another 23 lock day



Ady sets Radford lock-our first of the day

At the moorings at Gibraltar Bridge just after the Stockton flight a real treat. Molly Rose my old boat that I sold 15 years ago with her new owner. I must get in touch as I think I gave her the wrong date of birth for Molly Rose during our mid-stream chat

It was great to see her and she is obviously still loved.

Arrived Braunston 6ish and after a jar in the Boathouse enjoyed a very fine Salmon Curry on board Panther

We are on the home strait now and head for Whilton where Roy has his car as he must return to London for Thursday . The run to Whilton is good, through Braunston Locks,the tunnel and along the lovely stretch between the south of the tunnel and Long Buckby. We moored at Long Buckby for a naughty boys' breakfast and waterlooing. While I cooked breakfast Ady did the mucky jobs returning to find the centre rope by which he had secured the boat had come undone and I was floating out to sea. Don't worry Ady-we wont mention it again.

A lunchtime pint in the New Inn and down Buckby Locks.

A farewell to Roy as we carried on to Weedon for the night dining on duck. The following day was a day off as we awaited Roy's return and we set about some of those jobs we hadn't got round to since we left in July. Then a healthy walk and dinner in the Crossroads Hotel. No sign of Benny but by the end of the evening the scenery was beginning to move about a bit (If you're under 50 none of the forgoing will mean anything to you)

Friday and Annie has rejoined the team. Panther arrives at Weedon by 10 a m and we head for Stoke Bruerne arriving about 2 o'clock. Obviously we could have gone on for a few more hours but the Siren call of the Bruerne Spice was too strong. Although the moorings at Stoke B were very quiet with only one boat moored between the tunnel end and the top lock the pubs and restaurant were  busy as there were in excess of 100 bikers camped down the road. They were a great bunch, members of the AJS and Matchless club, all of mature years and a great example of how a good time can be had when the nuisances are elsewhere.

An excellent curry in a packed curry house

In the morning I had a date with Jules Fuels to fill up at with diesel at Stoke Bruerne bottom



Ady ties onto Towcester for diesel. Is that knot ok Ady?



Roy comes looking fo gas



We are indeed and heading fo the delights of Milton Keynes



Past the sheep at Grafton Regis that were my companions during my stay there in July. Don't knock it -ewe never know



And here comes Panther
 with  Roy, in hot pursuit



A  heron does a passable impersonation of Concorde

 We do 9 hours to The Globe at Leighton Buzzard where we dine on sea bass. Marvellous

The next day is Sunday and it's Roy's birthday so we head for the Red Lion at Marsworth. The weather is glorious and though the trip is nearly over we are in good spirits



Annie is back in lock-wheeling mode



Ady ruminates. Disgusting!



I see no ships

 On arrival at Marsworth we have Bubbles and Cake and sing Happy Birthday with gusto.

Happy Birthday, Roy

A pint in the Red Lion and back to Panther for Chicken Curry, Aubergine curry and Kohl Rabi curry. All very yummysome.

The last day is a sunny one as well and we head for Cowroast in the sunshine.



The Last Lock



Hey ho.-nearly over



Through Bulbourne where the two CaRT craft havent moved off the Visitors' Moorings since I went away in July despite having their yard opposite.



Panther through the Cutting on Tring Summit



and on to Cowroast.......

The end of a wonderful trip setting off on 12th July and returning on 7th October. Of course, we've been back and forth by car in between times but in that three months Panther and Independence have managed over 440** miles and 342 locks during a total of 52 days (inc car shuffles (#see below), a day out in Chester and detours to pubs, churches and chandlers) The official time for the trip is 44 days. Pacific with John single-handed did 152 miles and 108 locks in 7 days.

LOGISTICS

**Panther 448 and 4.5 furlongs/ Independence 442 and 1.75 furlongs (The difference being that Panther went to the Coventry basin from Hawkesbury and I went from Barbridge to Hurleston Junction to collect John P-plus the .25 of a furlong being when I floated adrift at Long Buckby)

No boaters were injured during the making of this trip apart from me banging my head in Stone (Staffs) and my knee going crock for the last two days but the following casualties were recorded.

Independence:

1 chimney

1 cb aerial

2 flowerpots

1 fender

innumerable paper plates

1 pair of gloves

(all the above from the roof)

1 hat (from my head) (Br 107 between Napton and Braunston and bearing the title Tug Master. If returned copious draughts will be provided-especially as it was a copious draught that removed it)

1 Fire extinguisher

1 whisky tumbler

Panther:

1 fuel pump

The total distance travelled (off boats) was

Cars    2985.97

Cab        13

Train     896.2

Total (off boat)  travel 3894.99 milesThe total for the three boats was 1042 miles 6.25 furlongs.

A Grand total of 4937.5 miles

Given that you could drive to Tripoli and back and still have 468.5 miles in hand for days out for picnics and sightseeing whilst you're there I think this may well be the plan for next year. And you wouldn't have to work all those locks except on the Panama canal and I think they are manned. (Oh and take a spare fuel pump and spare engineer with you) Did I just say Panama? Silly me I meant Suez Canal-still thinking about my lost hat....

A great trip. My thanks to all concerned for their many kindnesses and lock working and well done Independence-33 years old with a 53 year old engine and a 66 year old failed male model in charge.

Supporting spreadsheets, pie charts and minutes are available should your life be totally unfulfilled.  Alternatively please feel free to stick your head in a bucket of custard and pretend you are...well, not barmy ...just a trifle