Bloody Hell! That was cold. I'm not the man I used to be and probably never was but I've felt the icy blast more this time than ever before. The snow wasn't too bad-arrived, made a nuisance for a couple of days and shoved off. Perfect. I know it was/is worse elsewhere but round here "The Beast from the East" was pumped up by the Meejah to become the "Hysteria from Siberia". Schools and shops closed, the shelves were cleared of bread, Waitrose saw a return of the 2015 Avocado Wars and FaceBook was full of people wanting to know what the roads were like the other side of the hedge.
It was cold though-seriously cold - a wind that cut between your vest and pants and froze appendages, appendixes -sorry-appendices and apertures especially on the 5 minutes it takes to walk along the path from boat to gate or vice versa. The problem with being on the boat in this weather isn't on board. Once you've got your arse in gear, coal and logs organised, full water tank, an empty thunderbox, plenty of grub, a smattering of alcohol you are fine inside the old girl. Every now and then you have to venture out to empty the ash bucket or get some more logs or coal from the store but generally it's fine.

An Ice-breaker...may I introduce you?.......

Fully stocked

It's outside elements that bugger things up. The canal froze this last week and that meant no coal boat but that wasn't a problem-but it could have been. If the canal was frozen then so was the Sanitary Station and the Water Point. The delight to be experienced when one lugs a full loo bucket along a swampy path with the aforementioned wind blasting the aforementioned bits and pieces only to discover the facility is non-functioning is immeasurable. Fortunately I was able to work round the problem but I did advise CRT to get the  station locked before anyone dumped any more.

{some of us are like wheelbarrows-only useful when pushed and very easily upset-Jack Herbert}

Some places had two feet of snow

As I say it's thawed now and life can return to normal or an approximation thereof.
Increasingly mild is the forecast which is excellent. My failing health permitting I intend to powerwash the boat this coming week and start preparing for my Safety Examination, all that squeezed between two funerals (Mario O'Neil and Dave Harvey's Mum, Dot) and an appointment with the nurse (Could be another 4Ws and an F)

=======================================
Went to the excellent Odyssey Cinema in St Albans to see the Darkest Hour which was very good except it left me doing Churchill impressions for the next few days. Mmmmmmwah Keep buggerin on -mwwwha. The film did well at the awards ceremonies as did Dunkirk. Looking back we seem to cope better with being attacked by the bloomin Germans than we do with 4 inches of snow.
======================================
I've got four books on the go which is silly. I struggle to commit to reading these days which is both bothersome and disappointing so if I'm tackling four I achieve even less. Two of the books are mainly set in Rome-one on Cicero, one on the Popes, both a good read. The third is on trees and deserving of full attention and the fourth was given to me for my birthday by friends Lynn and Trevor. It is a book of Great British Wit and normally one just dips in and out of such a book but it is so good for lifting the spirits-though obviously not as good as actually lifting the spirit-cheers- and has quite a few gems some of which a are peppered throughout this blog.

I particularly enjoyed and laughed out loud at the following wonderful lines from "Are You Being Served"

{on the phone....
"Hello is that Mr Akbar? Mrs  Slocombe here, your next door neighbour. I wonder could you do me a little favour?
Would you go to my front door, bend down, look through the letterbox...and if you can see my pussy, would you drop a sardine on the mat?"}

Classic-I'd love to buy a pint for whoever wrote that.

=========================================
Spring is Coming!

Louise Yeoman (nb Dreckley) on our moorings here at sunny Cow Roast is helping to organise a Spring Ceilidh/ Barn Dance with New Moon Morris, a band of boaters, dancers and musicians to be held at the Nora Grace Hall in Tring at 8 pm on 28th April 2018. All profits to Rennie Grove Hospice Care 

There is a FaceBook event link below but most of you will want to go straight to https://billetto.co.uk/e/new-moon-morris-spring-ceilidh-tickets-260318 where you can buy tickets. 
Bring your own alcohol and hot drinks and snacks will be provided by the Little Red coffee van, which is run by no other than our favourite marine engineer, Ed Boden’s wife, Sarah. Tickets are £8.50 for adults, £5.50 under 15’s and under 5’s free. Tickets are also available  from the Beechwood Cafe, Frogmore Street in Tring.

The Ceilidh (pronounced 'kaylee') will feature the excellent band 'Pickled Tink' and will be from 8:00 to 11:00 pm.
New Moon Morris will perform in the interval.
Nora Grace Hall is in Faversham Close
Parking nearby in Church Yard car park with access from Frogmore Street.

====================================================================
Before that we have our St George's Party on Sat 21st April of which more anonny hey nonny no....... and before that we're off to Kent to spend time near Philip, Caz, Florence and Mathilda plus squeeze in a day trip to France primarily for lunch but probably pick up some diet Lilt while we're there. A Fruits de Mer perhaps but who knows.
"France is the largest country in Europe, a great boon for drunks, who need room to fall"-Alan Coren

======================================
Last  Tuesday we had a power cut. They've been digging up the road outside the Cow Roast Inn and pop! Off we went-Only for an hour but it was while I was listening to the Mighty Fulham beating Sheffield Utd 3-0.  A most unwelcome interruption!

On the bright side they might be doing something to the electricity supply to the pub so where there's life etc.
=========================================
One of my favourite pieces of work is Jeffery Bernard is Unwell by Keith Waterhouse. I saw Peter O'Toole perform it on stage years ago. Wonderful. I have a VHS recording of O'Toole's performance but my tv doesn't play VHS. I have a dvd player so thought I might get the play in that format. Cheapest so far? £35!!! so while I'm pondering whether to spend that much I thought I'd dig out my dvd player which I did. But could I find the lead? No. So before I lash out a small fortune on the dvd I have to consider whether I want to buy another dvd player but in the meantime I came across the following cartoon which pleased me greatly.

as did this....

The England Squad kit for World Cup. Russia, 2018

================================================================

Mother's Day and I sit finishing this blog. Pam is in Kent, en famille, and I have the day clear for good works. Well it was clear but amazingly for me these days I didn't wake till 10.45 so that's half the morning gone and no good works performed. Funnily enough I woke to a text from a friend asking "Are you going to wake?_ I was perplexed in that how did they know I'd overslept and then the fog cleared. THey were inquiring about tomorrow's funeral-silly me.

No reason to oversleep. We had a quiet night with dinner at Gatsby's followed by "The Post" at The Rex; an excellent film with Hanks and Streep on great form. It's a period of history I recall well, not just because the Vietnam War formed a backdrop to my youthful political thinking but also because I was studying Social and Political theory at the time and a lot of alleged heroes of the age turned out to be major liars in major matters. Nixon. of course, was a given. He exercised an amazing arrogance in both his dealings with the Press generally and, of course, his certainty that he could hang onto power despite Watergate. Such brass-neckedness outdoes even the current incumbent but wait and watch.

I looked in my book for a suitable phrase to close this bit on and found three I like.

Alexei Sayle

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator" we say "lift"...they say  "President", we  say "stupid, psychopathic git"

Douglas Adams

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job".

and finally yet still relevantly the wonderful Charles Dickens

"I believe that the heaviest blow ever dealt at liberty's head will be dealt by the United States in the ultimate failure of its example to the earth"

I think it's now a little unfair to blame the whole United States (other than that they elected Trump) and our example when we were in our pomp was not always driven by the need for liberty.

Enough of my rubbish-Enjoy what looks like the start of Spring, stay away from Salisbury and remember......................
"Ooooooooohhh There's Only One F in Fulham etc.