The whelming response to my last post indicates that the wok is clearly everybodys' favourite cooking utensil. There was also inconsiderable interest in the success of my fish pie. Well, astoundingly good thank.you. Apart from a midweek defeat of Fulham by the nauseous Liverpool (penalty in extra time) the week has been good. It started with a trip to the Rex Cinema in Berkhamsted, always a treat, to see La Bellenza (art house film about Roman high life) and to keep the Italian theme going a meal at Carluccio's-mushroom pasta-very good.
The weather is dominating the headlines and apart from a pleasant Thursday and a gorgeous Sunday we continue to be battered by wind and rain. As I look out of my porthole the rain is horizontal and the ducks are being blown backwards. Bits are falling off the trees and the aeriel just flew over Toddington Services on the M
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| Not a kingfisher-a plastic bag-but easier to photograph |
SCLINCA
We have kingfishers on the mooring and I've developed a foolproof system called SCLINCA for seeing them at their best. It is a system I have evolved over many weeks and by using my powers of observation and deduction.
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| Here's one I took earlier-last year. |
Take your camera and you'll see empty branches till your eyes fall out.
A Criminal Record
Talking of cameras I have to advise the more delicate of you that I am now a convicted felon. A rogue, a villain, a threat to society, a scoundrel. I abase myself. I am detestable amongst men. I am lower than a snake to be crushed underfoot by the might of the Thames Valley Constabulary. Twenty years of perfect driving and sixty seven years as a an upright, clean living and wholesome human being. All for nought. My life is in tatters and my reputation destroyed. All because I drove at 35 mph (allegedly) through the miserable cesspit that is Aldermaston. I am, of course, innocent as charged. Everyone who has ever driven with me knows me to be slower than a germinating chilli seed..................... The charge is surely some conspiracy to break my spirit and dissuade me from my wish to become Queen, an aspiration in which many of my best friends support me.But I must be brave. I have not sat twice through Les Miserables not to know the dignity of the wrongly convicted hero. My time will come. But not in Aldermaston, a place which until the day of the alleged offence featured nowhere in my life. I was aware that during the Aldermaston Marches in the 60s to "Ban the Bomb" Ady had striven for world peace by emptying the lavender buckets at the start of the march. A fact not marked anywhere by the Aldermasturbatians in their miserable town. No plaque to the great heroic shitshifter of a bygone age. A time when an Englishman could not be criminalised on the click of a camera nor tried and gulagged in his absence.
A time when the Thames Valley Police would have been directing all their resources to the fact that their manor and its inhabitants were being washed away by the current great deluge. Instead they send a highly paid rozzer to Aldermaston to take the film out of a sneakily concealed camera, bought, no doubt, second hand from the KGB; take said film to Boots, requesting at the ratepayers' expense for the One Hour Service and returning to his bunker via his Aunty Dolly's where he shared his glee at having nailed the man who would be Queen.
" Look Aunty, remember that nutter who wants to be queen-well we've got him stitched up here with the irrefutable evidence of an iffy Russian Leica tied to a lampost in Aldermaston. Better than that Mitchell geezer on his bike in Downing Street. This blokes got no mates in high places to get him off. Her Majesty and Prince Jug Ears are safe for another Garden Party or two."
Nay bother I'll pay the fine and do my time knowing that God at this very moment is sending a tsunami of Biblical proportions in the direction of Banbury nick where Dolly's nephew sits unaware of the judgement heading up the M40 at a speed far in excess of 35knots. And the bastard wont have the option of a Tsunami Awareness course either. Hee hee.
Life goes on and so do I. and on and on and on.
The Berko Chilli Challenge
My thoughts turn to chilli
Or rather to the Berko Chilli Challenge.
I have the seeds and the rules. I have the compost and the trays.
The chillies are to be grown from seed and their progress photographed at regular intervals and submitted to the judges. To both germinate and bring on the seed and plants requires a constant warm environment.
That's where my problems start. On a boat, if you aint on it for more than a day then you don't heat it.so all those Berkhamstedians in their centrally heated houses have the advantage of me. At great expense I have decided to retrieve the electric green house heater from the bowels of the shed and fit it up in the middle cabin. I hope I remember to turn it on when the fires aren't lit.
There are 4 types of seed
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| The Impropagator |
Hungarian Hot Wax
Ring of Fire
Numex Big Jim
which taken together sound like a good night out in Naples .
I'm going for the strangest shape prize-I specialise in rude vegetables.
Seed planting is under way both on board and at Pam's (who is another competitor)and I've already sussed out some of the other entrants to get a feel for how they will perform under pressure.
There's Janice and John who are the main movers and shakers in organising-and judging-the competition and having won the sunflower competition last year obviously know what they are at in matters horticultural.
They have also supplied the seeds but one can buy one's own as well and whilst some people can get quite paranoid about such things I would not suggest for one moment that the seeds supplied by the organisers might have been , say soaked in alcohol to render them impotent. It worked on me.
Then there's Pam-a formidable opponent as I know and one who not only has considerable gardening skills in her own right but also has a sister, Tricia, in Leeds who often phones the local Radio Leeds Gardening Programme for specialist info. I suspect I am battling the Yorkshire Mafia here.I am also concerned in that in one of my attempts to please I let her have first fill from the bag of compost. Could the remaining soil be tampered with? Is there a chilli weevil? You never know.
I met follickly-challenged John from Northchurch the other night and was heartened to discover that his level of competence is not promising in that he had failed the simple inititative test of taking delivery of the seeds, rules and growing instuctions. Assuming them to be junk mail and failing to notice the giveaway telltale sign of a picture of a chilli on the outside of the envelope he cast it aside. No worries there then.
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| Hmmm? I wonder what this contains..... |
More Chillifest news anon.
Valentines Night very pleasant evening with Pam, Natalie and Joseph in the Pizza Express where I took a "selfie" though as I used the mirror to do it it's more of an "eifles"
The Marco Polo
It's 12.30 on Saturday morning. The storm is raging and the boat heaving from side to side. Marvelous.
I wont go to bed yet as I am enjoying the ride.
There was a mixture of news on the midnight bulletin.
We've won Gold on the bobsleigh thingy for girls.Amazing and well done.
The noxious Miers P Organ is in custody for phone hacking-wonderful-can we bring back ritual disemboweling?
Sir Tom Finney is dead. He was a great gentleman and sportsman and magnificent footballer. We will not seen his kind again. Very sad.
Fulham have sacked their manager-why?-and replaced him with a German, Magath! My patience is sorely tested. I fear we are panicking too late.
The Cruise ship Marco Polo is struck by a freak wave mid Channel, smashing through the restaurant window and a passenger has died. My enthusiasm for the forthcoming trip on board the aforesaid vessel is waning. I now see they have changed the itinerary for my trip so we no longer stay at Antwerp but at Zeebrugge on the last night. Presumably Zeebrugge has a double-glazing firm dockside and Antwerp doesn't.
Independence rocks and rolls all night long and in the morning the mooring has chimneys, branches, wheelbarrows,buckets all in places where they weren't last night.
The partner of the tree that came down a fortnight ago has developed a serious lean towards the canal so Max and Lesley have moved off their moorings before they get a trunk call.
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| The tree has a definite list to port so Max and Lesley move off their mooring |
Now we have a second tree at the other end of the moorings which is on the at risk register. CaRT are attending this afternoon in the form of three fellers who are tree fellers.
The tree at the far end is speedily despatched .Unfortunately it is speedily despatched on to an adjacent meter cupboard so CaRT are in the cart.
Sunday brings the best day for ages and Pam and I have a walk round Wendover Woods which looks wonderful in the sunshine even though like us on the mooring they have had a few tree casualties.
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| Pam next to a fallen Pine |
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| Silver Birch don't seem so prone to being prone |
Going
Going
Going
Gone!
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| OOOOOPS! |
Until next time dear friends.....
It's goodbye from me.........
And it's goodbye from Battlecat
2 comments:
Was the film you saw La Grande Bellezza?
If so it's a blinder...very much enjoyed it and would love to see it on the big screen.
It was La Grande Bellezza and whilst I enjoyed it, at 2 hours long and with half hour of adverts beforehand even at the exceedingly comfortable Rex Cinema my backside had nearly lost the will to live.
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