This week we cover everything from the Birds to Budgie to BMW to the Budget 
In all probability it will be the last blogpost before I ship out of Tilbury with my mad-dog lascar Ady plus possibly Norman the Gnome and three chilli seedlings.
Read on.

SPRING
I have bought a box from Tesco-only 30 quid-and I'm going to keep all my spare bedding, mattressing etc in it and free up lots of space.
First the shed must be tidied.......and avid readers will know this is an ongoing requirement lasting many years
The grand plan is tidy the shed to the point of being minimalist, likewise the mooring and plant the surrounding area out like what Capability Brown would have done. Then prepare the boat for its BSS certificate (inspection booked for St George's Day) and job done.

The weather is on the up with more signs of Spring every day, though as the weekend approaches (22nd/23rd) the weather is turning wetter and windier. All the more noticeable after the last two beautiful weekends.

The Cowroast Lido flourishes with all kinds of wildlife settling in and it's hard to imagine life without it. I've been trying to photograph a couple of swans on the Lido against the sunset but they haven't read the script and being swans do anything not to please.I did manage to get a picture of the "Lido"at sunset published in the Berkhamsted Gazette (75p from all good newsagents) so its fame is spreading.

SWANS-LATEST

 On the subject of swans I am becoming increasingly confused.
You will remember that in the last post I thought that the lonely swan (missing its partner who flew into a cable) had either been reunited with its partner (restored to health by the PDSA)  or had found a new mate or is on his/her own.

Now my problem is.....and you'll have to stay with me on this .... that I don't know if the injured swan has been returned or is still being treated or is dead cos the PDSA ain't replied to my enquiry. Nor do I know if one of the two swans is definitely the one that was left. I can't tell them apart. Add to this that I do not know the sex of the two swans now seen together.  They might be male and  female, two males or two females. They might be ,you know, thingy. Anyway, now it gets complicated.
There is also a new (or possibly the old grieving swan) swan who twice a day has a right Barney with one of the pair who chases it off with some force. It is reasonable to assume these two are males. What I don't know is whether the third swan might be the injured one returned either from the PDSA or the dead to find his bird, so to speak, nested up with a new bloke and thus got the right hump about it. Of course it might be none of them.

To add to the confusion I have also seen two swans on the adjacent Lido but as I don't have eyes in the back of my head I don't know if they are the same as the aforementioned pair or two new ones.

So there you have it in a nutshell:

There are either five or three swans.
One of them might be the repaired swan or the ghost of a dead one.
One of them might be the swan that was left behind when the other one got injured.But I don't know which one.
There might be;
 three males and two females.
 three females and two males.
 four ma;les and one female.
four females and one male.
 two males and one female.
 two females and one male.
Or there might be  the largest gathering of gay ( male and/or female) swans since swan-upping was invented.

I have sent a reminder to the National Grid asking if there is any news on fixing warning strappings to the cables over the lock. If I'm honest I fear the worst as far as the injured swan is concerned. The general opinion is that he/she has passed on to the Great Swannery in the Sky

Exhausted with swan watching a walk round Wendover woods was called for.

Before the walk an array of scooters wonderful to behold.I estimated there were over fifty and they all looked in tiptop condition except one that was obviously a new project.

A VAST BEHIND!


What's on the horizon?
Well I'm sailing from Tilbury on 30th March for foreign parts, loaded with limes and biscuits, gnomes and chillis.I am looking forward to the trip other than the mean scrotes who run the thing wont allow you to take any booze on board for a snifter in the cabin before dinner. I have come up with various ingenious ways of smuggling some illicit hooch but frankly can't be bothered other than for the enjoyment gained from a small victoxry over tyrannical capitalist running dogs.

COWROAST CHRONICLE
I'm starting to think about St George's Day (23rd April) and the St George's party on 26th. What format, which charity...that sort of thing. Last year apart from a couple of proper charities we were able to put aside 60 quid in a Mooring Slush Fund.An investment that has earned 34p interest in a year.Yippee.
One of our moorers, Budgie, recently had a slight stroke while on board his boat and this got me thinking. Perhaps a donation to the local branch of the Stroke Association would be a good idea this year but also should we be thinking about our arrangements for getting the emergency services to the mooring (signposting,gate lock, the state of the path.) Hmmmm.....have to think about that. 
Pleased to report Budgie is back on board and looks a bit more sprightly every day. Best wishes to him and Jan who has the task of coping with a less than perfect patient.

I recently received a very nice letter from the St Francis Hospice thanking us for our donation of 525 quid after our Christmas Gathering. When I can find a photocopier I'll stick a copy on the gate.

Bad news on the chilli front I'm afraid. Of all my original seeds I have only two rather frail looking seedlings and I fear life on board is not conducive to such horticultural endeavours. True I did move to quickly on my first three and transferred them to pots before they were strong enough but now they are all turning up their toes.I have planted another dozen seeds and will see what happens. If they come to anything they might have to come cruising with me round Holland, France and Belgium. They'll think they are little Stormtroopers.

Pam was driving me round the M25 last week and I was thinking I havent photographed anything interesting for a while when suddenly...............................................there was this fine looking chap travelling down the middle lane. I would love to have him on the moorings

but he is probably too deer.

I'd also like to mention a real bird hero. I was told of a crow that hangs around  Cowroast Marina and depending on your viewpoint is up to no good. The nearby BMW dealer is slowly taking over the world. (sound familiar?) They park staff cars behind the Cowroast Inn, probably the main source of income for the pub nowadays and also in the lane adjacent to the mooring which is a bugger for us. Nobody seems to have thought of staff parking when granting planning permission for the larger building some years back or the Mini showroom added more recently.If the pub ever gets it act together, or is turned into a Bingo Hall ** and wants the parking back Lord alone knows what will happen. Anyway I digress.

Now BMW need somewhere additional to store cars  and thus they rent space in the Cowroast Marina. The crow has taken a liking to the rubber window seals and wiper blades doing damage on a major scale. I'm sure they'll despatch the crow sometime soon so keep your eyes peeled for a flight of Luftwaffe Crows zooming in over the Chilterns with the sun behind them and blasting our thieving crow-shall we call him Rustle? Yes let's-out of the skies. Or perhaps Rustle does not operate alone and Helmut Crow and his chums might get a surprise. We shall never surrender.
(That's Rustle as in thieve rather than Russell as in Jane, Crowe or Bertrand)

  Here's a strange sighting in the sky over the Cowroast Inn. Perhaps a plume of white smoke indicating a change off landlord? We know a change is coming but when?







 THE BUDGET

** I mention Bingo Halls because the recent Budget made changes favourable to them and also knocked a penny off a pint.##

I thought the following was a spoof but I am assured by no less an austere organ than the Independent that it is official. 
Amazingly condescending by our Etonian Masters, promulgated I understand by Party Chairman Grant Shapps, the same eejit who suggested using the canals as a linear Council Estate. He obviously hasn't taken a stroll through Rickmansworth lately though of course if he did I'm sure everybody would be at the pub or Bingo.

Even  the Daily Mail had a problem with this one. Here's the link if you want to read more.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2584700/Let-play-bingo-Tories-fire-condescending-advert-highlighting-Budget-beer-bingo-tax-cuts-things-enjoy.html

##The penny off came just 10 days after the breweries/pub chains upped the price by 10p. This is the second budget running that a penny has been cut from the duty and the second year running the pubs have had a big hike in prices. At the time of writing I have not seen either reduction reflected in the price so why bother, George?  There's no benefit to you as tax raiser nor to me as the consumer. And it's obvious the pub chains for all their handwringing don't need it-they just helped themselves to another 10!

Enough of the miserable world of high finance and time to pack my oilskins and telescope filled with whisky

STOP PRESS
But while I'm away on 3rd April Caz Nicklin's book will be published

You can get it from  www.cyclechic.co.uk/shop/gifts/her/girls-bicycle-handbook-caz-nicklin-pre-order

 The Spring is sprung
The grass is ris
I wonders where the birdies is
Aha the bird is on the wing
But that's absurd
The wing is on the bird

Anon (but often, mistakenly, attributed to Spike Milligan)

It's blue. No It's purple. It's blue. No Purple.

The Spring is upon us. The rain has abated no doubt to return and the sun doth shine. On Ash Wednesday, we had frost , the first for some time giving the daffs and other flora a bit of a shock but it is bright and promising. After the weather of late the joy of being able to sit at breakfast with the front doors open and watch the wildlife on the cut and  bankside is unbounded.


Earlier in the week on Saturday and it's to the woods with Pam and Joseph. Wendover Woods to be exact where there are many and various walks. I find the navigation quite easy as all I do is follow them whilst trying to retain some oxygen in my lung. How is it that fit people, like the sort you see in the gym are able to talk and exercise at the same time using the valuable oxygen that you need. Selfish I call it.

The view from the Hill Fort

My guides however are suffering some sort of colour blindness in distinguishing between purple and blue waymarker signs and a disagreement occurs. I take the necessary cowardly action and depart the scene having taken a photograph.

Mud.

 I returned to the woods on Wednesday (Ash) and did a different walk round Boddington Hill Fort and although the route was easy to follow it involved much much mud.

Both agree it's a log

The woods are actually the highest part of the Chilterns and are reached via Aston Hill where Mr Martin tested the climbing capacity of his cars
Aston Martin was founded in 1913 by Lionel Martin and Robert Bamford.^[10] The two had joined forces as Bamford & Martin the previous year to sell cars made by Singer from premises in Callow Street, London where they also serviced GWK and Calthorpe vehicles. Martin raced specials at Aston Hill near Aston Clinton, and the pair decided to make their own vehicles.

A little known fact is that Aston Martin were the first to fit their cars with an a llama. OK I  know they are alpacas but who ever heard of an alpaca in a car. Look out for these chaps when driving down Aston Hill

It's all downhill from here

My Yurt

In the woods I discovered this rude shelter. I knew that to be so because as I passed a voice shouted "shove off baldy!" Very rude.

In the Himalayas (or Himmarllias as they call them now the world's gone mad) the locals work away strenuously building such shelters for the Winter and it is from such practice we derive the saying "hard work never yurt anybody"




The Berko Chilli Challenge
Ash Wednesday brought a surprise on the boat. My first chilli seed has germinated 15 days after sowing. This prompted me to set up my greenhouse heater under the seed tray supported, rather artistically, on 4 baked bean tins. This introduction of the hothousing technique favoured by P and R Gardens (which are next to Kew) and will I am sure encourage the other lazy buggers to sprout. I have named the first one Roy after our illustrious England Manager who sadly is much more urgently needed back at (there's only on F in) Fulham. See the Berko Chilli Challenge at .https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chilli-Challenge-2014/1446548205577797

Go Roy Go

And lo, by Friday two others have entered the fray, Bobby and Jackie named after the Charlton brothers of '66 England.

This little thug sunning himself in the Spring sunshine is an old adversary of Battlecat  and until about  6 months ago would burgle the old boy's food by coming through the cat flap** into the kitchen whilst poor old BC was asleep elsewhere. Now Battlecat sleeps in the kitchen as sadly he is of an age and condition where carpets and cat don't mix, Ginger doesn't seem to call any more. Or maybe he desists out of respect for an ailing senior or he fears my size 11 up his pencil sharpener.
Anyway he enjoys the same sun that shines on these crocuses in Pam's front garden to cheer the heart when opening the curtains

**Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman that wore a cat flap on his head? 

 Spring has newly sprung 
 the hills are full of grass 
 and along comes a billy-goat 
sliding on his overcoat 
down the summer pass".
Ogden Nash 

Feel free to your own ending if you haven't already

Valerie heads south. Bon voyage and good luck

 My friends, Les and Jaqueline on Valerie, have passed through Cowroast en route to Watford where Les is, sometime, due for surgery. See their blog http://boatlife.blogspot.co.uk/

I hope they get it all sorted before the Summer. They deserve some luck.
.


Another blog I like is:
 http://nbrocknroll.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/bon-voyage-rock-n-roll.html


This follows the narrowboat Rock'n'Roll which until very recently was owned by Carol and George (and Molly)

Rock'n'Roll in Bristol

I photographed Rock'n'Roll from the deck of SS Great Britain in Bristol some time ago and they have used it as the header on the blog ever since I sent them the photo. Now they are moving on to life on a new boat "Still Rockin' " and a new blog. Must get their picture if ever we pass on the cut.

 This little chap called by and stayed a long while today (Thursday) He was quite the little poseur.

Cowroast Lido

The Cowroast Lido newly formed between the road and the canal is still thriving with at least one resident cygnet, innumerable gulls, loadsa ducks and a pair of coots. Nobody seems bothered about getting rid of the water so I suppose as the year goes on and the water table falls so will the lido. We were musing in the Lamb pub in Berko that it would be great if it froze and the skaters could get on it. Or the curlers now that has become so popular following the Olympics. Rumour has it that the Tongans are taking it up and are being sponsored by a firm of international hairdressers. Come on you Curling Tongans!

 


 Talking of pubs the Cowroast Inn is changing hands on Thursday week. I wont go into its chequered history but suffice to say it needs a fresh start with a dose of enthusiasm so whoever takes over  let's hope they can make a difference. As one of the old-timers round here I have used the Cowroast since 1979 and had some very good times there. Sadly not recently. Live in hopes.
Beer in Punch Taverns has gone up 10p a pint this week so they aint worried about pubs closing. Bunch of shysters.

 You will, of course, recall that in the last post I told how a swan had hit the cables across Cowroast Lock and been taken away by the RSPCA. As yet no news of the poor old swan other than its mate continues to look very sad. Now I know nothing about anything so how do I know how a swan looks when sad.
here is definitely an air of longing and consternation about the beast. I don't even know whether it is a male missing its female or vice versa. I've never really got close enough to a swan to find out. And I aint about to try. I do know, cos I read it, that swans usually mate for life, though 'divorce' does sometimes occur, particularly following nesting failure. And if a mate dies, or is killed by a predator, the remaining mate will take up with another; however, if all goes well in the pairing, they indeed will stay together "for life."No divorces, no remarrying after the old boys shuffled off, no pre-nuptial agreements, no playing the field. I would think if you were a swan's solicitor (Penn, Cobb and Leggit?) you'd be hard pushed to earn a few bob other than with the odd bit of probate work. Not much there either as, apart from half a nest, the swan has only one thing to leave.
 Its mate. 
Very sad.  I hope for news soon but fear the worst.

On a positive note I have heard back from the National Grid that they will investigate the possibility of fitting warning dangly things  to the cables. 

STOP PRESS
Just before publishing I spied this pair sailing out of the marina! Has the injured swan been returned or has a new mate been found. All is confusion. We must know the truth. Watch this space.

 Slow down-whats th'rush






Until next time mes amis, be lucky.